Words from Inside My Head

to use any words other than those ratified by the media

as reasons for what happened to the ear of the ex-president;
Violent.  Loner. Diabolical. Democrat. Republican.

Don’t say sorrowful, wasted, ruined to describe the person, who,
at 17, may have donated money to a progressive group on the day a
Democratic president was sworn in; don’t ask why their first vote was as a
Republican in 2022, don’t point out that they used the same type of
assault rifle used in the shootings of schoolchildren to try to take out
a candidate for president who supports the NRA. 

Don’t even think of the word “ self-sacrifice”,  for you’ll be put on a list
or banned from social media and other stations and spaces,
feeding into wrong places as if there were any right ones
left these days. 

Did he seek a darkly ironic way out of the future he saw coming
for himself and others, was this the answer he sought, using the
violence of guns espoused by the party he wanted to be
misidentified with, and is there no ounce of sorrow we can give, 
that someone so young thought this was the answer?
Wonder, was this an intentionally hidden message, 
an unwritten Manifesto?

Am I allowed to ask these things, even if I lay them out right
next to stating that violence isn’t the answer, that it only
makes everything worse, that he caused innocent lives to be lost
or hurt, that what he did will be turned into a Hero story by
his intended victim, that his messages not only won’t be heard, 
but will be used as weapons against whatever was his intentions?