Words from Inside My Head

at least, according to my cardiologist,
who I believe, despite his charming
bedside manner,
does not really know what to say to me,
and so he pats me on the wrist and tells me
that I’m doing fine, prescribes a little mobile EKG
device, which I can use to reassure myself,
when my heart starts all that thumping
like it’s trying to fly out of me, 
that this is nothing to be concerned about,
it’s just a normal sinus rhythm or maybe some 
sinus rhythm with supraventricular ectopy
or premature ventricular contractions, 
nothing to be concerned about,
it’s fine,
I’m fine,
and rapid heartbeats in old folks don’t mean a thing,
it’s something that from now on will come and go and 
as long as I’m not falling down,
as long as I’m in no pain, 
as long as I’m not short of  breath,
as long as my heart’s still beating, it’s fine,
it’s the new normal,
there’s no need to even think of dialing 911 or
driving to the ER, but I really think
what’s being said is to save any worries
for later, like at the
“as far as we can tell
she dropped dead about
a month ago”
point.